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The Poes: by ganonbomber
To the music of TLC's "No Scrub"
A Poe is a ghost
that thinks he's a fright,
he's in raggy clothes and carries a light.
Always
thinkin' 'bout what to kill,
livin' behind the Kakariko Windmill.
REFRAIN
No,
I don't like you one bit.
No, you probably
hate me, too,
and no, I don't want to see you again,
no, or anyone
of your kind...
No, I don't want no Poes.
Poe is a ghost that
can't get no life form me.
Hangin' on the passenger side of Epona's ride,
and
he's throwing flames at me.
(repeat)
And oh the Poe's
a chasin' after me,
the spirit is such a sight to see.
Always thinkin'
weird evil plots,
I'll kill him with all of what I've got.
REFRAIN
You
have a light and you're flyin'
oh yes Poe, I'm talkin'
to you.
You roam in the field and the graveyard,
oh yes Poe, I'm talkin'
to you.
I'll catch you in a bottle,
oh yes Poe, I'm talkin' to
you.
Why don't you die, oh die, oh die, oh die,
oh no, I don't want no....
No
Poes, No Poes, no no, No Poes, No Poes, no no,
REFRAIN
(repeat
second verse of REFRAIN 6 times)
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The Triforce: by ganonbomber
sung to the rythym of "I am the real Slim Shady" by Eminem
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May
I have your Triforce, please?
May
I have your Triforce, please?
Will the king of Hyrule please give
up?
I repeat, will the king of Hyrule please give up? . . . . . .we're
gonna
have a problem here . . .
You act like you've never seen a Gerudo
before.
Jaws all on the floor when I walk in the door,
Bigger an
badder than ever before.
Give me your Trifoce.
Take over this castle
by force
It's the return of the . . .
Moblin: “Ahh, wait, no wait. Didn't
the guards stop you last time?
Didn't they? And
Aganihm tried .
. .
Nothin’ you idiots! Aganihm’s dead he's locked in another realm!
Gerudo
women love Ganondorf.
Chicka, chicka, chicka, Evil King
Gerudo
Woman: “I love him, lookit him walkin’ around killing you know
who, flippin’
to you know who.”
“Yeah, and he's handsome too.”
Yeah, I probably
got a few screws up in my head loose,
so just think of what I might do to
all of youse.
Sometimes I wanna get with Zelda and let loose
but can't,
an link tells me to hump a dead moose
“I’ll kidnap the princess, I’ll
kidnap the princess.
And If I'm lucky she might just give me a little kiss.”
And
that's the message sent from my goons to your royal highness,
and
I expect you all to surrender and report to me.
Well of course you're
gonna surrender by the 4th raid
all your guards are bein’ paid ain’t they?
You
ain’t nothin but animals,
and my goons are cannibals.
they'll
cut you open like dekulopes
but you tell me to hump dead animals and antelopes,
Curse
you Zelda and the rest of you dopes!
But if you feel like
I feel, I got the antidote.
Gerudos wave your scimitars, sing me glorious
and it goes,
I'm the king Ganon yes I’m the fierce King Ganon
and
all Link’s doin’ is delayin’
what I the King of Evil won’t stand for,
won’t stand for, won’t stand
for
so would link please give up, and
join me, c’mon join me.
All your castle guards I’ve been payin’.
yes
all your castle guards I’ve been payin’.
so, won’t the king of Hyrule please
give up, please give up, please give
up.
Link doesn’t have
to hurt anyone to win his quest . . . .
Well I do. So I’ll hurt him and hurt
you too!
You think I give a damn if Link finds me?
Half of your subjects
haven’t even seen me,
let Link try me.
Moblins: “But Ganon, what
if Link wins? Wouldn’t it be weird?”
No. It’d be impossible for him to
get over here.
What are you guys a buncha non-beleivers?
****. The Stalfos
an Mob-a-lins better switch their tunes
or pay with they lives,
an
argue they case ‘fore I think twice
I’m sick of all you Hylian girl an’
boy guards
all you do is annoy me.
So I have been sent here to destroy
you.
And there’s a million Gerudo just like me
who kill like me,
who just don’t give a **** like me
who dress like Genie, walk talk and act
like me
and it might just be the very best thing to yield to me.
Cause
I’m King Ganon, yes I’m the King Ganon.
All you here what I’m sayin’?
So
won’t the king of Hyrule please give up, please give up, please give
up.
Cause
you can’t beat me, no you can’t beat me.
All you can
be doin’ is prayin’.
So, won’t the Hero of Time please give up, please give
up, please give
up.
I’m like a cyclone to do battle with,
cause
I’ve got the Triforce of Power in my fist
that you kept hidden from
me in your tower
and now I got the balls to come here in front of ya ‘ll
and
I ain’t gotta be false and say I’m here peacefully at all
take
your peace treaty and shove it
and whether you like to admit it
I
just stole more than 90% of your kingdom, old man
and then you think “can’t
stop
Ganon eatin’ up my land with Volvagia!”
It’s funny, cause
at the rate I’m goin’ when I’m through,
there won’t be person left who knows
what to do.
Turnin’ Hyrule Field into a wasteland with my moblins,
and
all that fairy boy Link does isn’t workin’
in every single alleyway there’s
my dark minions lurkin’
just waitin’ to rip you out your belly, king,
spittin’ on your vile
remains
or in Hyrule Town, circling, screamin’
“Ya’ll are ****ed!”
with their weapons up and their hopes high
so
will the King of Hyrule please give up
and put one Triforce in each hand up
and
grovel cause I’m outta my mind and in total control
and one more
time, loud as you can, how does it go? . . . . .
I’m King Ganon, yes
overlord of Hyrule
all my minions are just a waitin’
so won’t Link
please give up, please give up, please give up
Cause I’m invincible, you
can’t beat me
Cause I’m King Ganon, the Evil King Ganon
all you can do
now is be prayin’
Cause I’m king Ganon, your next dictator
suppose
it better late than never
Ha ha, guess there’s no hidin’ from Ganon
this time . . . . . . . . .
.**** you, and give up.
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Hyrule: by ganonbomber
If you want a land of fantasy,
Drop into Hyrule,
'tis for all to see.
There's all to see,
Dungeons and dragons,
Lon Lon Milk,
Sold in Flagons.
Kokiri, Zoras,
Gorons, Faeries,
Monsters, Re-Deads, They're all real scary!
All your
best friends,
Malon, Saria, Epona
To your worst enemies
Queen
Ghoma!
Walk through the market, down the alleys,
Or creep silently into
Gerudo Valley.
To Lake Hylia to go fishing
Or Kakariko to a well
of wishing.
Go to the Haunted Graves,
Creep into Hyrule Castle if you're
brave.
So hurry up, Stay cool
And drop into the land of Hyrule!
tell me what ya think.
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